


The Whole, But Cracked

by localtweekers (TheDyingSun)



Category: South Park
Genre: Basically me wanting to write the Craig+Tweek boss fight everyone wants to happen, Betrayal, Farting, It didn't exactly play out like that but still!, M/M, Plotting, Scheming, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, and Tweek and Craig turning against everyone else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-01 03:50:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12147999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDyingSun/pseuds/localtweekers
Summary: Previously on Coon and Friends: Super Craig and Wonder Tweek are no longer a duo, but recent events have caused them to bond once more. What will happen now that they have a common enemy? Will they become partners again? Find out on this week's episode of Coon and Friends!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Um hi. If you follow my other account you will know that this is not the fandom I usually post to. I hope you don't think this is too weird. I just think Creek is really cute okay!

Super Craig was out cold on the dusty floor, knocked out by a stray assailant. The creatures were like nothing he'd ever seen- tasted like crab but looked like people. They had off-red claws and spoke in chants like a violent cult. Wonder Tweek had been tailing them since they'd embarked, on false intel that they were searching for a cache of supplies. The Coon had certainly framed it that way; nothing to worry about in the caves, nothing but 5-star loot ripe for the taking. Wonder Tweek had pitied Mosquito and the Human Kite for beliving him.

But then they'd been attacked, time and again, and the group had fought and won, and continued to press on. Wonder Tweek had followed, quiet as a soft wind, ducking behind rocks and support beams.

He'd watched, holding back as Coon and Friends met crab people willing to talk- and made fools of themselves. Coon demanded too much, acting more like a bully than a hero- and the others let him do it. Wonder Tweek could understand why the crab people attacked, though he didn't like it. Finally their numbes were too many, and this time they'd been ready to fight back.

When Super Craig was the first down, Wonder Tweek felt a storm of anger at both his attacker, and his allies. Craig laid on the ground for turns and turns while the others tried to save themselves- but then the destruction of their attacks did real damage to the cave walls, and the ground began to shake.

“We should go,” Mosquito said, looking toward the crab people. “The place is coming down- we should all go!”

“We crab people have hard shells,” one of them said. “We can survive many cave-ins. You cannot.”

“Shit,” Human Kite cursed, panicking. “Mosquito's right- we need to run.”

They debated their fallen ally. They decided to leave him.

The storm of anger inside Wonder Tweek became a hurricane, and the sparks became lightning. Simply: he couldn't take anymore.

 

“How dare you!” he scolded, flying in on rumbling clouds. He was blowing his mission but at this point he could spare a thought. Morals were more important. Mysterion would understand. “How dare you even think of abandoning your friend, you heartless bastards!”

The fight paused for a moment, as both the crab people and the heroes looked up to him. With a soft whistle the cloud lowered him back to the ground. Even as the caves rumbled with instability, he remained still.

He could have panicked and trembled- but instead he acted. With an icy kiss he blew a sparkling mist over the crab people, crackling at their shells and building up a frost- until they were immobile. Though it drained much of his energy, it did nothing to his resolve.

“Whoa- watch it guys- Tweek's gone beserk,” Mosquito warned, but it was futile. Wonder Tweek was not “berserk”; he was in his own mind, in control of his own righteous fury.

“It's you who've lost your way,” he told them. “The Freedom Pals would never leave a man behind, no matter what!”

“Yeah, well we're not the Freedom Pals,” the Coon mocked. “And besides, killing someone off is good for ratings. Coon and Friends is dark and gritty- it's not some pussy friendship is magic shit!”

“Well- I don't know about that,” Human Kite admitted. “But we ran out of revives- and the place is collapsing- we've gotta go!”

“Then pick him up and carry him” Wonder Tweek said, voice sharp.

“Dammit man!” The Coon shouted. “There's no time! Coon and Friends, away!”

The group turned to leave and Wonder Tweek nearly flew after them, but the slumped over form of Super Craig held him like a tether.

“No,” Wonder Tweek yelled after them. “You cowards! You can't do this!”

“You're the one who's gay for him,” Coon yelled back, even as he ran. “Save him yourself!”

“It's not that-” Wonder Tweek started, taken aback- but it was too late. The Coon and Friends had fled.

 

Wonder Tweek sunk to the ground, defeated, and scooped Super Craig into his arms. The hero was taller and heavier, but the strength of his convicions aided him. It was not that he was “gay” for Super Craig- although he was- even after...

 It was the principle of the matter- it was what heroes did- and what he was shocked to see Coon and Friends _refuse_ to do. He wouldn't leave Mosquito or Fast Pass behind- Super Craig was no different. Though, if he were being honest with himself, none of the others would have made him so furious.

 Though his strength dwindled, Wonder Tweek heaved up Super Craig and let him drape limply over his shoulder. He began to walk- the lumbering pace was as fast as he could go under Super Craig's weight- toward what he hoped was the exit. He trailed in the direction he thought the Coon and Friends had run- but it was hard to be sure, as they were long gone. The caves continued to rumble, like thunder, only cracking much closer. The falling dust turned to falling peebles, and Wonder Tweek felt his heart race with panic. The risk was very real, but he couldn't falter now.

 Through a dark cavern, slowly over a narrow pass, he prayed to not be nocked over the edge. Wonder Tweek continued until he felt the slight incline that meant the surface was near- until the deep bass of the cave collapsing cracked into a deafening crash, and the walls of the tunnel ahead fell in.

 And what's worse, in the dark distance behind him, Wonder Tweek swore he heard chanting.

“No,” he gasped, as the dusted settled. The way was totally blocked. He would have to backtrack, and risk the ranks of angry crab people that awaited him.

 

“Tweek!” called a small, obnoxious voice. Wonder Tweek looked frantically around until he spotted the tiny figure behind a rock. A gnome, with a triangle hat and ginger beard, barely as tall as his knee. “This way!”

 Wonder Tweek did not argue, and followed the gnome around the rock and through a tunnel he hadn't seen. Wordlessly he followed the gnome, and didn't protest when the path sloped downward. Wonder Tweek knew a friend when he saw one.

After severl minutes down the path, the rumbling in the caves started to sound more distant. The tunnels were narrow and short but he managed, and the gnome continued to firmly leading Wonder Tweek and Super Craig to safety.

 Finally, after some distance, the tunnel broke into a large bright room that Tweek- er- _Wonder Tweek_ felt as if he had been before. There were several piles of fabric garments, and a large chalkboard with various mathermatical formulas laid out. The other gnomes crowded around and Wonder Tweek finally felt safe setting Super Craig down on a bed of underpants. While the healer gnomes looked over him, Wonder Tweek sunk down to sit beside him, exhausted.

“I've got a lot of questions,” said the gnome who rescued them (Tavish, if he uh- personally knew the gnomes- which _Wonder Tweek_ didn't). “Firstly, what the hell were you doing down there Tweek?”

“It's Wonder Tweek,” he corrected. The gnome rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you are today- why were you going anywhere near those assholes?”

“Recon,” Wonder Tweek answered. “I was in stealth mode. I followed Coon and Friends down there and saw them get attacked. They were going to leave Super Craig behind-”

“Hold up,” another gnome (Ormin) said. “THAT'S Craig?”

A hush fell over the group.

“He's pretty cute,” Yelen piped up, smirking over at Wonder Tweek. “He wears boxers, right?”

Wonder Tweek felt a flush, and his cheeks grew hot.

“I- h-how would I know?!” The gnomes furrowed their brows, confused (to them it was a pretty normal question). “I mean- yes, Wonder Tweek and Super Craig were once a duo- but Super Craig sided with Coon and Friends- and got knocked out to show for it.”

“Oh,” said, scratching his beard. “I get it.”

“You- you do?!”

“Yep.” He nodded. “You're not ready to tell us- I respect that. Remeber when Traver and Yaric came out, ooh man that was the talk of the cave for weeks- and not all kind at first.”

The gnomes mumbled in guilty agreement.

“No,” Tweek said, and he deflated, slouching as the facade faded away. “It's not that. It's- we had a fight over this stupid game- which like I thought I wanted. This whole thing happened because everyone just assumed I was gay without letting me figure it out for myself, and I thought maybe this fight wasn't all bad if it gave me a chance to _think._.. But the guys take this stuff too far sometimes and like-” he pauses to stare at shaking hands. “That was _real_. We almost died! And Craig and I are fighting because of a _game_.”

“That's kinda how it goes,” Ormin admited. “Puts things in perspective.”

“I guess,” Tweek sighed. He watched as the gnome healers sat Craig up and tipped some water to his mouth.

“Ughh,” the boy groaned. He swallowed, and his eyes slowly opened. “Super Craig feels like shit.”

“Just lie back,” the gnomes told him. “Just bruised it looks like, but you should take your time.”

“Fuck that! Those assholes left me to die- I'm gonna go beat their asses!” He jumped to his feet, and extended a hand. “Come on Wonder Tweek!”

 Wonder Tweek felt his strength returning as well, but he knew things couldn't be that easy. He stood up too.

“No! You refused to walk out on Coon and Friends with me! Just because they abandonned you doesn't mean we're cool now.”

Super Craig's anger flickered.

“What? But- you saved my life!”

“Yeah, and?”

“Well- doesn't that mean things are good?”

“It means he didn't want you to die you idiot,” Tavish scolded. “You've still got a lot of work to do!”

Wonder Tweek and Super Craig glared at the creature in unison, to which he raised his hands in defense. “You're right- sorry- you two work it out.”

Wonder Tweek nodded, and turned back to Super Craig.

“He's right though. Do you remember anything?”

Super Craig sighed, and all the bravado he has seemed to dissolve. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.

“I mean- I wasn't as unconcious as you think I was.”

Wonder Tweek scoffed, and took a menacing step forward.

“You mean I didn't have to _drag_ you out of there you lazy-?!”

“It means I heard what you said!” Craig fired back.

He- _what?_ Wonder Tweek faltered, and words fell flat.

“Look,” Super Craig sighed. He broke eye contact almost uncharacteristically. “You're right. Coon and Friends are a bunch of dicks- I see that now. I should have realized it sooner and walked out with you, but I was greedy- and I got what I deserved for it.”

“I wouldn't say you deserved _that_ -” Wonder Tweek started, but Super Craig put a hand up.

“Just- just let me finish. You saved me because that's what you do, Wonder Tweek. Because... because you're a better superhero than me. _There,_ I said it.”

Wonder Tweek was speechless. Even when they were a duo, Super Craig had been headstrong and competitive. “And anyway,” Super Craig continued. “I don't expect you to forgive me after all that- let alone be my partner again.” He looked back up, staring intensely into Wonder Tweek's eyes. “But you and I both know that Coon needs to pay.” Wonder Tweek nodded- he had decided that same thing the moment Coon had suggested that the loss of Super Craig would boost their ratings. The moment the other hereos had agreed- no matter how reluctantly. “I can sneak into their head quarters, but I can't take him down alone. I... I have to ask for your help.”

He held his hand out again.

This time, Wonder Tweek didn't hesitate. He clasped Super Craig's hand and for the briefest moment he forgot he was meant to be shaking it instead of holding it. But his mind prevailed over his muscle memory, and he shook once, then let go. The look on Super Craig's face was soft, his eyebrows tilted up in a way that was almost vulnerable- and then it was gone.

 

Tweek let the gnomes lead him to the surface, even though he knew the way. Partially it was because he wanted to keep up the character of Wonder Tweek who had “never been through these tunnels before” and partially so that Yelen could have the talk that she SO wished to have with him.

 “I think Craig's nice,” she whispered. They walked a few steps behind Craig and the others- or rather, Tweek walked, and Yelen sat on his shoulder with a tiny hand gripping his hair. “In a 'give no fucks' kinda way. Is he the cool kid in school?” Tweek snorted, recalling all the Red Racer paraphernalia and posters of Saturn in his room. Saturn was his favourite planet; Craig was the kind of person who _had_ a favourite planet.

“Not really,” Tweek laughed. “But no one is. Not that kind of town.”

“No,” Yelen agreed. “It's really not.” They chatted for the remainder of the short trip, until they were met with a rickety ladder leading into a trap door.

 

The gnomes waved their goodbyes to Tweek and Craig as they climbed up and out into a furnished room, which Craig would be shocked to realize was Tweek's basement.

As the gnomes walked back to their village, Yelen turned to Tavish smiled wide.

“They're _so_ gay.”

 

Try as they might, Tweek and Craig failed to avoid Mr and Mrs Tweak on their way out of the basement.

“Oh hi Craig,” Tweek's dad greeted, a freshly brewed cuppa-joe in his hand. Mrs Tweak came up beside him and smiled down at them. “I didn't even see you come in! How'd you two get down there? And- why are you covered in dirt?”

Rather than look susipicious scrambling for an excuse, Craig dialed up his act.

“It's _Super Craig_ actually. With the power of disguise!” Tweek was quick to jump in.

“And I'm his partner Wonder Tweek! With the power of the elements at my fingertips!” He blew out a long puff of air in a sound that resembled wind, and waved his hands as if using his powers.

“Well isn't that cute,” Mrs. Tweak said, bending down a bit to talk to them at eye level.

“Yes, adorable,” Mr. Tweak said, “But next time ask before you go down stairs, okay? Never know what you two might be doing. And you're both filthy!”

“Yes dad,” Tweek started, but Craig jumped instead.

“It was Super Craig's fault!” he announced. “Anyway Super Craig is late for dinner so he must be off! Bye Tweek, bye dad- er- I mean Mr. Tweak!” With that, Craig ran for the door and slammed it shut as he left.

Mr. Tweak clutched a hand to his heart, and nearly crumpled. His wife caught him.

“Did you hear that dear- he- he called me ' _dad_.'” His eyes welled with the threat of tears. For as bad an actor as Craig claimed he was, he was an expert as poking and proding the heartstrings of Tweek's parents when he needed to.

“Um, can I go back up to my room now?” Tweek asked, not sure if he was still going to get a lecture- or worse.

“Of course you can Wonder Tweek,” his mother cooed, placing a warm hand on his cheek. “I'll run a bath for you after dinner.”

“Okay,” Tweek said, hardly daring to believe how _not-in-trouble_ he was. He all-but ran to his room.

 

His phone started to buzz after dinner, once he was rested and clean, and still somehow not in trouble.

 _Cartman just asked me if I was alive,_ read Craig's text. _What should I say?_

It occurred to Tweek in that moment that Craig could tell Cartman literally anything, as Cartman had no way of knowing what had happened after they'd fled the caves. It also wasn't lost on Tweek that Craig was asking him for advice. Maybe Wonder Tweek was the brains and Super Craig the brawn. Or you know, maybe they were both smart enough not to pidgeon-hole themselves.

Maybe they were smart enough to pull of something big.

 _Tell him you survived,_ Tweek replied. _I have an idea._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig and Tweek get really good at lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I updated this. It's probably going to be about 4-5 chapters long. I'll try to finish it before TFBW comes out, so that I can compare how many plot elements I got totally wrong :)

 

“Wow, I can't believe the underpants gnomes saved you,” The Coon laughed. It was the next day, the afternoon after a lazy Saturday morning. “Of all the random-ass things to happen!”

“Not that random,” Human Kite mused. “Isn't Tweek friends with them still?”

“Nah, he hates those guys,” Super Craig lied, deadpan. “We had to give them our underwear in exchange for safe passge.”

“Sounds about right,” Mosquito noded. “So uh... how are things uh- going with you two?” The concern in Clyde's tone broke through the facade for a moment, and he sounded less like a hero and more like a friend. Craig wouldn't lie to him on any other day, but today he was pissed. Clyde, the coward he was, hadn't said anything as Cartman instructed them to leave him behind. The only member of Coon and Friends that wasn't at fault was Fast Pass, and only because Jimmy simply hadn't been there.

Craig paused to let the others lean in, listening with anticipation.

“Well,” Craig started, laced with fake indignaiton. “He kept acting like I owed him something for saving him- like I _asked_ for it. I was knocked out, how was I supposed to know?”

“How uh-” Human Kite shifted in his seat. “How much _do_ you remember? You hit your head pretty hard.”

“One minute I was kicking crab people ass, the next I was waking up in a cave with a gnome trying to give me CPR.”

The other boys flinched, but said nothing. “Wonder Tweek says you were going to leave me behind, but I don't believe that for a second. I'm the second movie in Phase 1- you guys need me!”

Let it not be said that Craig didn't delight at the guilt on their faces- save for the Coon who didn't look guilty at all. Instead he seemed happy to not get caught.

“That's right, we do. I'm glad you didn't succumb to Wonder Tweek's seductive charms,” the Coon congratulated. Craig tried not to dwell on that fact that Cartman has just assumed that charm was one of Tweek's powers, when it wasn't. “Especially since things are personal between you two. But believe me when I say that's it's for the better.”

The one thing Craig hadn't planned was for Clyde- er- Mosquito- to stand up angrily from his chair.

“For the better? What the hell is wrong with you? They love each other!”

Craig was quick on his feet as well.

“Hey, don't put words in my mouth! You don't know that!”

Clyde's mouth dropped open, and he stared at Craig with hurt and shock.

“You- you don't love Tweek?”

“Wonder Tweek,” Jimmy corrected, helpfully. The silence was tense for Clyde and Craig; for Kyle and Cartman, who weren't so close to the issue, it was more like they were absorbed, observing. Craig was not the best actor but he had real anger. All he had to do was misdirect it.

“Wonder Tweek is trying to get _me_ to apologize and take him back! If this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life, then maybe it's better that I got out when I did.”

“Hear hear,” Cartman said, and not his discredit, even he seemed a taken aback by the news. “Bitches be crazy.”

“ _Call Tweek a bitch again and I'll break your nose_ ,” Craig blurted, a knee jerk retort. Thankfully it was quiet enough that only Jimmy beside him had really heard. He gave Craig a nod of sympathy, but said nothing else. Jimmy was always good for that, and Craig appreciated it. He sat down, arms crossed, and Clyde sat down as well. He didn't talk for the rest of the meeting, and he didn't have to. They'd all been completely fooled.

 

This whole ruse was a lot of effort, and it got Craig thinking. Until today, he'd never talked about his future with Tweek, or put words to how long they would be together. He'd thought about it, but never dared bring it up. He had no idea Tweek would take the split so personally, and it had really put things into perspective as to whether they even _had_ a future.

He was enjoying the game, sure, but he'd been hoping to play alongside Tweek, pretending to combine attacks, or save each other through the power of gay love or whatever. As with all the 4th graders, the games were the vehicle through which they bonded as friends (that and all the _actual_ weird shit they'd all been through). It was how they learned to work together, to get to know each others' wants and needs, and to play out scenarios in a soft, safe way. While Craig had known Tweek for a long-ass time, he'd never really played with him- not in this context.

At any rate, he could only be butthurt about that for so long. The bottom line was that he and Tweek were talking again, and sharing a secret plan between the two of them. He had no idea if Tweek had forgiven him, or if he wanted to stop being on a “break,” but the fact that they were working together was definitely a good start. If anyone found out, they'd call him whipped or blame the “gay feelings” that he'd convinced everyone he had for Tweek.

But in truth it was more than that.

  1. He agreed with Tweek, and he wanted to take Cartman down. Maybe he wasn't a “sudden betrayal” kind of guy (except for that one time), and most of this was Tweek's strategizing- but Craig was happy to go along with it if it brought him the revenge he desired.

  2. Tweek was still his friend- Craig liked to think his _best friend_. He hadn't really had one before, hadn't found it neccessary. But now- Tweek was sweet and endearing and supportive, and dammit Craig wanted to do friend stuff.

  3. He also wanted to do boyfriend stuff. Whatever their initial intentions were, Craig knew full well that things with Tweek had developed far past the point of no return. Tweek knew it too- or at least Craig assumed he did. The whole town had forgotten about them months ago, and there'd been ample time to quietly part ways, or even decide between themselves that it was nothing more than a close friendship. But that conversation never came, and Craig was _glad_.




And now that they were well and truly in a fight, Craig knew it was more. Friends didn't say the things they said to each other, couldn't get so deep under each other's skin like that. And the last time Craig fought with a friend, he hadn't wanted them back so quickly, so _badly_. Hell he was was halfway to begging Tweek in the caves, probably making a huge fool of himself and making it all worse...

But he just needed things be okay again. If they'd just make up, he and Tweek could go back to that boring old routine he loved so much: video games, awkward family dinners, holding hands on the way to class, crowding close together to watch Stripe bustle around his pen. Tweek was a genuinely fun person to be around, paranoid, exciteable, and bursting with good nature. He was possibly the nicest kid Craig had ever met- and yet he was also one of the only ones that could hold his own against him in a fight. Tweek's hidden strength and stubborn temper weren't faults to Craig. They were- well- _attractive_.

 “Super Craig? You in there?” The Coon's hand waved obnoxiously in his face, and Craig snapped back into the game.

“Sorry- I was uh- thinking about uh...”

“Balls?” Fast Pass suggested. Craig resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Yes- you caught me. Big gay balls.”

The rest of the meeting involved the Coon waxing poetic about how important it was to best the Freedom Pals. He highlighted which missions would be of the most benefit to their follower count, and which ones were more or less useless. As usual, Cartman had made quite the mess around himself, getting them all deeply involved in tense situations that it really would have been better to avoid. He wondered if Stan and Kenny were doing the same thing on the other side of town, and putting Tweek in danger.

Craig gathered what information he could, and made a few discreet notes on his phone. He was assigned to a mission with the Human Kite, which didn't surprise him in the least. If he were in Kyle's shoes, he'd want to keep an eye on himself too.

 

 

“Why didn't you report back after the mission?” Mysterion asked him, banging an angry fist on the table, doing his very best Bruce Wayne. “Dammit Tweek we were really worried about you!”

Toolshed and Tuperware nodded in agreement.

“Yeah man, that wasn't cool,” Toolshed said, a little gentler. “Especially after Kyle told me they were fighting the Crab People!?”

“I'm sorry,” Tweek protested. “Look it was a stressful experience, I just wanted to go home!”

“With _Craig_?” Tuperware said, and then immediately seemed to regret it. “Sorry- it's just- he's being a jerk, and I hope he's not trying to manipulate you.”

Tweek appreciated Token's concern, but he also wasn't fond of people assuming he was easily conned. Tweek was anxoius and paranoid yes, but he wasn't a damn pushover like people expected him to be. Token should've known that by now, but maybe he'd assumed Craig was different.

“He's not,” Wonder Tweek assured his team. “Hard to be manipulative when you're unconcious.” The others were surprised at this, but Tweek carried on. “And besides, if anyone's easily manipulated, it's _him_. Why the hell do you think he stayed with Coon and Friends in the first place? Those assholes can keep him!”

“Damn,” Tuperware said. “That's cold, Tweek.”

“It's a fair point,” Mysterion agreed. “I'm glad you have a good head on your shoulders.”

While none of the others seemed suspicious, Wonder Tweek knew to keep his guard up. The interrogation was far from over.

 

In the end he and Mysterion ended up at the park on “patrol” which was very clearly an ruse for someone to monitor his behaviour and chat him up more. Wonder Tweek answered as he normally would have, and Mysterion seemed to go back to his more relaxed self (which in the case of two 4th graders, involved farting inside the tube slide and laughing at the echoes). It wasn't until the sun was starting to set that Mysterion really showed his hand.

“It's too bad Super Craig stayed with those jerks- I would have liked things to have worked out between you too.”

“Well-” Tweek faltered between the game and reality. “What if he changed his mind? Or I convinced him to join?”

Mysterion turned to him, glaringly.

“Is that what you're trying to do, Wonder Tweek? Bring him over?”

“I was thinking about it,” Wonder Tweek said, partially honest. “If you want.”

“I don't want, actually,” Mysterion said. “He made his choice when he sided with Coon. Plus he could easily use you to get information- even if you were being careful. We're naturally weak to the things we care about.”

Wonder Tweek didn't like that logic, mostly because it was right. But Craig wouldn't do that- Tweek had to have faith.

“You say that as if he doesn't care about me too _,_ ” Wonder Tweek countered. “Maybe I'll get _him_ to talk.”

“He could lie,” Mysterion said. “The Coon could convice him to lie to protect you. You should know better than to underestimate that weasel.”

“I do,” Wonder Tweek said. He wanted to protest, but he knew this was more than just advice- this was a veiled warning to stay away from Craig and not believe a word he said. Which made sense- but out of the two of them, Tweek liked to think he knew Craig better by now.

Still, Craig and Kenny had been friends for a long time, and Tweek knew better than to dismiss him entirely. And he had to admit that Cartman (and his freinds- they weren't faultless either) had tricked both of them multiple times. If he and Craig were really going to work together, maybe they needed to stand on less rocky ground.

 

When Tweek got home that night he debated texting Craig for a long time. They'd been off and on all day, but only to share information. He wanted to talk about _them_ and the prospect made him shake with nervous jitters. There was so much that could go wrong, so much Craig could misinterpret and get mad at- and _leave_. Tweek didn't even know where to start. There was so much he wanted, but he couldn't just take Craig back all at once. He was still mad, and he needed Craig to understand _why_.

He wondered what Craig was doing now, if he was in his room too, staring at the phone. Or maybe he had better things to do, like catch up on Voltron or play with Stripe #4 (ugh). Craig was kind of lazy sometimes (okay most of the time) and out of the two of them he was far more likely to try and avoid talks like this.

Which is why his speech in the cave was still fresh and shocking in Tweek's mind. Everything he'd admitted to, the way he'd been so articualte and reasonable- it was a side Tweek had never seen. Most surprising was Craig's patience with him, his willingness to give Tweek space and not demand they make up – or that they fight. Sure he'd assumed they were good after the rescue, but when Tweek informed him otherwise, he'd accepted it with understanding.

He and Craig were still so new to each other, so Craig had no way of knowing how deeply his behaviour had affected Tweek- for the better. Patience, understanding, and reason were all things Tweek felt starved for in his day to day life. His parents sorely lacked those qualities, as did most of the kids his age (they were _kids_ after all). That was fine, and Tweek didn't expect Craig to change- but the realization that these traits were a _within_ Craig, _just as much_ as his fondness for flipping the bird and his weird obsession with space, was a big one for Tweek.

 

He was also like, _gay for Craig_.

Gay independently too, thanks to some harsh and terrifying realizations, but then Craig had been thrown into the whole mix, through no fault of his own, and Tweek had fallen. Hard. The timing had been awful. Everyone had told Tweek he was gay and the crawling feeling that they were right, that they'd been right all along, made him want to scream, to resist. He just wanted to be a kid and learn these things for himself- but he also couldn't bear to hurt the people around him. The school and the town were one thing- he wished he'd he'd been a little smarter about that- but Craig was a whole different story. He'd screwed up Craig's life in a matter of seconds, and then experienced an overwhelming need to put it right. Because Craig had helped him, because Craig was a better person than he'd thought, because he'd _cared about making Craig happy_. And that's when it had started.

Tweek sighed and flopped back onto his bed.

“Dammit,” he muttered, staring at the cold ceiling. He _still_ cared, and he knew it wasn't fair to leave Craig in this limbo for much longer.

He grabbed his phone and called Craig's number.

 

“Hey dude,” Tweek greeted, voice on the brink of shaking. He still had no idea what to say but he had to try.

“Oh hey!” Craig was wide awake on the other line, and unable to mask his happiness. “You have good timing- I was uh...just gonna call you.”

Tweek swallowed down a nervous lump. Call about what?

“Oh-oh yeah?”

“Yeah- so I was thinking that we should come up with a special secret meeting spot, and like a secret code to use to say we wanna meet there.”

Tweek snorted, and just like that his nerves softened. Of course Craig was going to call about something like that. Try as he might to appear uninvested, Tweek knew full well that Craig was into the superhero game. Craig was also blissfully unaware of how cute he was being, and how much his eagerness was lifting Tweek's spirits.

“That's a good idea,” Tweek told him. “We could say like-” he thought for a moment- “Like 'my grandma's visiting at 2'oclock' and it means that we'll meet at 2.”

“Yeah!” Craig agreed. “Man that's way better than what I was thinking.”

Tweek smiled again, and found himself relaxing back onto the pillow.

“So um- what are you doing right now?”

“I'm _trying_ to play Assassin's Creed, but it's been updating for like an hour,” he sighed. “You?”

“Oh- I'm just uh- talking to you,” Tweek said lamely. He wasn't sure what made him decide to cross that line, but with a crack in his voice he took that first step. “I uh- I miss you a lot.”

“Me too,” Craig said quickly. “I mean yeah Cartman and Kyle are cool, but they're hardcore, you know? And Clyde's being super weird in this game, like what the fuck is Mosquito- and Jimmy... well Jimmy's still pretty cool I guess.”

“You wish you were on our side?” Tweek asked, teasingly. “I could set up a meeting.”

“Nah, I just wanna be with you,” Craig said, as plainly as he were describing the weather. Tweek nearly squeaked out loud at the admission. “You're way more fun than them.”

“ _Really_?”

“Yeah. I'm not as into this stuff as the other guys- if you couldn't tell by the costume,” Craig said, a laugh in his voice.  _Sure buddy_ , Tweek thought.  “But you make it fun. Or whatever. You never tell me my ideas are stupid.”

“Well- that's 'cause they're not,” Tweek reasoned. He wished he knew where Craig was going with this.

“Exactly,” Craig said. “You're don't judge like the others. More people should be like that.”

“But... _you_ just said Clyde was being weird...”

Craig sighed on the other end of the line.

“Ok yeah. You got me there. Call me a hypocrite, but- he's a fucking mosquito, Tweek. A _mosquito_. Of all things. And he keeps saying all this weird shit about having mouth parts and bug vision!”

Tweek giggled into the phone.

“Sounds like this is really bothering you,” Tweek observed. “You don't usually care that much.”

“Yeah but this is our _friend,_ Tweek. Like- does he have a blood fetish? Is that it? He told me his favourite animal was a tie between a mountain lion and cougar. So _why_ is he a god damn mosquito?!”

“Craig... Token's a lunch container.”

“Right but... but that some how makes more sense?”

“Uh huh...”

Craig sighed.

“Okay... maybe I'm too tired to explain myself properly,” he admitted. “Let's talk in the morning. We still have to find a secret spot.”

“Yeah, you're right. Night Craig,” Tweek said. He closed his eyes feeling oddly fulfilled just from having such a dumb conversation with Craig- it was ridiculous much this had helped.

“Night babe,” Craig said, and hung up. Tweek's eyes flew open and he stared at the now disconnected phone.

“What?!” he asked, even though no one was there to hear it.

 

A few houses down, Craig swore and chucked the phone onto the bed. It bounced mockingly, but settled on top of the duvet unharmed.

He hadn't meant to say it- it had just come out! He'd been doing so damn well with Tweek, starting to feel like things were really on the mend- when _that_ word had to slip out of his mouth. Of all the girls (2) Craig had dated, he'd never said that stupid word to _anyone_. It had been said to him, but it had never felt natural or comfortable. He knew better than to dwell on one slip up-

But he dwelled on it anyway, over and over, until some ungodly hour when the house was quiet and his eyes refused to stay open any longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! My tumblr is also localtweekers if you want to come chat!


	3. Chapter 3

 

After much deliberation, the secret spot ended up being a clearing of trees in the woods behind Tweek's place. Through the cluster of pine branches they could still make out the house, but it was well hidden. Plus, there was a deer path that lead out to another street, so that Craig could sneak over with people thinking he was visiting Tweek- which he was.

 

The conversation had been shaky at first, but both were determined to not talk about Craig's slip up. Eventually they moved past it and resumed talking like friends. Best friends even.

They shared everything they'd learned without a heed to either Freedom Pals or Coon and Friends. The facts and opinions flowed freely, accompanied by smiles and laughter, and in that time the rest of the world melted away. There was no house just past the trees, no town of South Park, just two boys in a shelter of pine branches, sitting on old logs and kicking up snow with their boots.

“We've really gotta plan this out,” Craig said. He'd stood up and started to pace. Neither of them were particularly good at strategizing. “We've gotta do something that really messes Coon up. Like kidnap him... or take the Galaxy Device.” He looked to Wonder Tweek for elaboration, but more ideas kept flowing, and he continued. “We could find a secret about him and expose it to the others! We could convince THEM to leave him behind, just like he tried to do to me! HA!” Super Craig was pumped! He was ready and eager to plan this with Wonder Tweek, excited to work out the details of who would be where, and how they would come together and exact justice.

Wonder Tweek shrugged.

“I kinda just wanted to beat him up.”

Super Craig stopped pacing.

“Yeah okay, that works too.”

 

In the end they decided the cornering the Coon and beating him up in in the middle of the day was too much of a dick move, even if he deserved it. While Tweek had want to be direct at first, he conceded that an element of deception would hurt Cartman's ego as much as his body- and he agreed with Craig that doing both would be _much_ more satisfying. They planned to get Cartman alone by leaving him an anonymous tip about something enticing. What that something was, they'd have to figure out; but each of them had Cartman's friends on their team, so getting and answer would be easy.

Craig knew he couldn't ask outright- it would be way too obvious, but maybe Kyle could give him a hint. He had a mission with Human Kite later anyway, down at Stark's pod. They were to watch for sea monsters, which in reality was just a whole lot of sitting and wasting time. And in Kyle's case, it was cover to speak to Craig and guage whether he was going to defect from Coon and Friends or not.

In Craig's case, it was the perfect opportunity to get information.

 

“So,” Human Kite said, joining Super Craig on the bench. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Well,” Super Craig began.

“It's Tweek, isn't it?” Kyle's face was soft, and Craig was admittedly unprepared for the question. He reminded himself of the lie he was telling.

“What- no- fuck him- we already went over this.”

“Yeah but...” Kyle sighed and slouched in his seat.

“What?” Craig asked. He could tell Kyle had somehing to say. Maybe letting him talk would help ease any lingering suspicions, so Craig listened.

“Look man, I've always liked Tweek- we were good friends for a while. He's a nice person, and I don't think he'd be so mad without a real reason. I know we're playing this game and all but like- did you guys really break up over it?”

“According to him we're 'on a break,'” Craig air-quoted.

“Right,” Kyle accepted. “But- he saved your life, when we... uh- couldn't. Just- please don't take him for granted.”

“Uh- sure,” Craig said, not sure how else to reply. He knew Kyle was fond of Tweek- pretty much all of their classmates were. But he hadn't expected him so be so invested in their relationship. Well, what was one more pair of eyes on them...

“I'm not trying to tell you what to do,” Kyle continued. “It's just that when you guys were together, before this whole fight, Tweek looked happier than I've ever seen him. I think he deserves to be happy. And as for you- uh I can never realy tell-but you seem to be taking this whole thing kinda hard?”

“We get really into these games,” Craig allowed, purposefully not reacting to Kyle's words. Kyle didn't seem surprised by this, meaning he'd gathered at least some sense of sense of Craig's personality in the years he'd vaguely known him. “We start to forget what really matters.”

“Yeah,” Kyle agreed.

“So what matters to Cartman?” Craig asked.

Kyle furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Craig, confused.

“What?”

He knew he could have been more subtle about this, but these nuaces were Tweek's forte, not his. The best Craig could do was try to seen more emotional than he was.

“I just haven't seen him go out on assignment, like- _we're_ always the ones out on the street. Is fighting crime not a good enough motivator for him? Does he just like to play the leader, or is he actually getting something out of all of this?”

“He likes to _think_ he's the leader,” Kyle corrected. “You know that.”

“Sure,” Craig admitted. “I just wonder what it would take for him to step it up, you know? Really act like the guy he's pretending to be.”

Kyle took a moment.

“Validation,” he said. “And not like- 'your feelings are valid' but like- the kind you get from winning- that's why there was always gonna be two sides with him. He _has_ to have the last word. It's unavoidable.”

“Then why are you friends with him?” Craig asked.

Kyle shrugged.

“Why are you?” He sighed and looked out at the pond, clearly not expecting and answer. “He doesn't always take the _wrong_ side...”

“Right,” Craig said, knowing this to be all-too-true. He disliked Cartman at the best of times, but even Craig had gotten in some of his schemes- they'd all been so tempting.

But Kyle was right- often the intention was good- but somehow it always got out of hand. Craig wasn't convinced that it was chance- he knew there was something in Cartman that either drew in- or was drawn towards- escalation. Things always blew up, and Cartman was the spark attracted to the flame.

And that was what he was going to tell Tweek.

They met that night at the secret place, and they formed a plan.

 

**Phase 1: Set Bait**

Craig headed inside to chat up Mr. And Mrs. Tweak, while Tweek snuck upstairs and stole his mother's phone (a number Cartman was sure not to have in his contacts) out of her purse .

He'd need to throw his voice for this one, so he took a deep breath and dialed Cartman's number.

“Hello?” Pause. “Hellooo?”

“Coon,” Tweek said, in the most feminine tone he could muster. “Is that you?”

“Who is this? How did you get this number?”

“It's- I can't tell you yet,” Tweek said. “But I found this number on the ad you posted in the park.”

“Oh,” Cartman said, defenses softening. “Right, well, what can I help you with? Lost cat? Organized crime ring?”

“Actually, I have some... information for you. I think it could really help your cause.”

Pause.

“Go on...”

“There's something dark going on in South Park,” Tweek lied, feigning fear. “I didn't mean to get swept up in it, but now I'm trapped. You see, there's a serum...”

Cartman took a second.

“What... kind of serum?”

“A super serum,” Tweek said. “Being developed in South Park. It grants regular people extraordinary powers- but there's a catch. The scientists who invented it added a chemical that makes whoever takes it a servant to them. I was foolish enough to take it- now I'm a- a helpless _girl_ with a power I can't control, bound to whomever has... the pheremones.”

“What.... _pheremones_?”

Cartman was quick to ask, and Tweek's heart leapt. He'd hooked him.

“They're synthetic, all you have to do is spray them on yourself and anyone who's taken the serum _has_ to listen to you.”

“Oh,” Cartman said. “Well then how'd you get away?”

“I slept with them,” Tweek lied, on the fly. He couldn't believe he was saying these things. “They're passed out now- it was the only way to make them drop their guard.”

“Right. Makes sense.”

“Coon,” Tweek continued, and sensed that now was the time to go all in. “I've seen what you and your friends can do- and I know that you know better than anyone that it's a curse, not a blessing.”

“Of course,” he agreed. “Not many can handle this burden.”

“Yes- that's why I'm going to give you the serum- and the pheremones.”

A beat of silence.

“ _What_.”

“Tomorrow night,” Tweek pressed. “They'll be out at some Official Science Gala. They trust me enough to leave me alone in the lab- I'll steal the vials and meet you somewhere- alone.”

“Where?”

“I'm not sure,” Tweek said, voice still high and sweet. “Perhaps the vacant lot behind Kevin Stoley's house.”

“Hmm. Alright.”

“Great.” Tweek said. “Thank you so much! But- Coon, you _have_ to be alone. I have faith that you can handle the task of destorying the serum, but I don't know the others- they don't seem as cool as you.”

A pause.

“You want me to destroy it...?”

“Yes, of course! I thought- wait- you don't want to use the serum for yourself, do you-?!”

“No no!” Coon was quick to interject, as Tweek figured he'd be. “No- I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me- it's just- this is all _so much_ to take in.”

“I understand.” Tweek said, subdued. “To think that there's something out there that could give one person so much power- but you understand that this is why I need you to destroy it. I can't do it myself, for the pheremones still have a hold on me-” Tweek jumped when he heard the sound of the door opening, but it was just Craig.

“Hurry up!” he mouthed.

“What was that?” Cartman asked, voice loosing it's softness.

“It's- ahh one of the scientists,” Tweek hissed. “He's waking up- I can't- the pheremones- I-” Tweek made a noise of pain and struggle, and then took a deep breath. “Tomorrow night, 10pm- this has to end!” With that, Tweek ended the call and tossed the phone to Craig.

Craig then slipped through the open door and his footsteps were faint through the hallway. They faded, and then returned, and then Craig was shutting the door behind himself.

“Where'd you put it?” Tweek asked, relieved to be using his normal voice again.

“Inside pocket on the left,” Craig recited. Tweek nodded, and finally a smile broke across his face. They'd executed this whole thing perfectly. This was well and truly going to work! For all their differences, Tweek had to admit that he and Craig made a great team.

“Did you come up with that yourself?” Craig asked. He wander over to the desk and an sat sideways on the chair, facing Tweek where he sat on the bed.

“Come up with what?”

“The story,” Craig said. “Did you make it up or is it from a movie?”

“Oh,” Tweek said. “I made it up. No movie.”

“Should be one,” Craig said, almost dismissively. “Way cooler than either of our franchises...”

 

**Phase 2: ???**

The Human Kite watched with worry as the Coon shakily put down the phone. The video game they'd been playing remained paused, completely forgotten.

Kite had caught a lot of what the woman had said to Coon, and he was shocked. Not as shocked as Cartman, but still pretty amazed.

“What are you going to do?” He asked. Coon was still for a moment, staring glazedly at the TV screen.

“I'm gonna go,” he decided. “I have to.”

“Alone?”

“Yes, _Kyle_ , alone. Didn't you hear her?”

“Yeah but- dude- this actually seems dangerous. What if it's a trap?”

“What if it isn't?! We can't risk that stuff being in the wrong hands any longer.”

“Oh yeah?” Kite said. “And what are you gonna do with it once you get it?”

“Does it _matter_?”

Kite bit back the urge to raise to volume of his voice.

“Fuck Cartman, of course it matters! You have to destroy it!”

“I will,” Coon said, trying to hush him. “I will, but in the meantime- imagine all the shitty people we could put to good use! Poor people, hippies, Mexicans- all do-nothing drains on society- when instead they could be fighting for good!”

“Who's good?” Kite argued. “Yours?”

“Mine, yours- whatever. Either way, there's nothing you can do Kyle. She sasked for me and me alone. I'll just... I get the serum and call you after. Promise.”

The Human Kite had had his fair share of touchy situations, but this was a disaster waiting to happen.

“Like hell you will,” he muttered, and got up from his seat.

“Hey,” Coon said, watching him stand. “Where're you going?”

“It's late, my mom will want me home.”

Cartman rolled his eyes.

“Yeah yeah whatever.”

Kyle nodded and slipped his shoes on. He stepped onto the stoop, breath chiling and glowing in the porchlight. He was mostly telling Cartman the truth- it _was_ dark and his mom would want him home- but he wasn't going just yet. He began to walk, and stopped one house short to knock on the door.

“Hi Mrs. Marsh,” he said, looking up at her. “Can I talk to Stan for a minute?”

 

**Phase 3: Profit**

If you were to ask their parents, Tweek was at Token's house, and Craig was at Jimmy's. It didn't matter much though, because no one was going to ask.

Wonder Tweek and Super Craig were instead sneaking to the vacant lot. Everytime a car passed they'd duck behind the snowbanks, huddling closer than either would dare acknowledge. It was dark and cold, and their breaths were visible when they passed under the moonlight. It was a rush Craig had never felt before; his heart was not racing, but _pounding_. He felt like he was deep in the thick of something big, something exciting. The traces of fear he felt didn't deter him- only spurred him on.

When they reached the vacant lot, Tweek tugged the sleeve of his jacket and lead them to the back, where they could crouch behind a bush.

“This is really happening,” he breathed- and Craig nodded. He shared the sentiment. There were no streetlights here, only the moon, and it streaked across Tweek's face and hair like a beam.

Craig's next words caught in his throat, jammed by everything else he wanted to say, all things burning through his mind.

 _It's happening because of you_ , he thought.

 _You're here_ , he thought.

 _I love you_ , he thought.

“Tweek,” he said, shaky with nerves, with uncertainty. Where was he going to go with this? He needed to say something but couldn't figure out how, not without blurting out what he felt- which he didn't do- and would _never_ do. “Tweek- I-”

“Craig- shh!”

“No,” Craig argued. “Don't shh me- look I need to say-” a gloved hand flew up to cover Craig's mouth. Craig nearly batted it away, but the urgency in Tweek's expression stopped him in his tracks.

“I'm sorry, we'll talk later,” Tweek whispered, leaning close. “But I see him- it's time!”

Craig exhaled under the glove, and nodded. Tweek released him, and together they peered just over the top of the bush,

 

The Coon was alone, just as they'd hoped. He wandered slowly into the lot, losing light the further in he came. When he got to the centre, Tweek took a deep breath and spoke up.

“You came,” he said, soft and sweet. Tweek's voice was so high pitched already, that making himself sound feminine wasn't a far stretch.

“Yes,” Coon said, looking around the lot. “So did you.” He stopped moving. “Where are you?”

“Follow my voice,” Tweek said. “Towards the back.”

Coon looked suspicious, but he started walking anyway.

“If this is a trap, you should know that it's foolish to corner the Coon.”

Craig stiffled a snort, which Cartman thankfully didn't hear.

“I know,” Tweek said. Cartman was so close now, the sound of his boots in the snow were so so loud. “That's far enough, I'll come out now.”

With a burst of movement that was not planned, a silver-clawed hand reached around the bush and grabbed the hood of Tweek's jacket. Cartman tugged, yanking Tweek out into the open. Tweek screamed in alarm as he struggled to gain enough footing to get away.

“Hey- don't you fucking touch him-”

Craig was already up, anger burning so hot that he couldn't keep his hands open- they were fists, and they were flying at Cartman's face, chest, cheeks, knocking him to the ground. Cartman groaned, and stayed down.

Tweek scrambled up to stand, and Craig turned to him, anger already fading. He felt better now.

“You okay?” he checked, looking Tweek over. Tweek nodded, breathless. Besides being covered in dirt and snow, he was fine. “Good.” He turned back to Cartman. “That's what you get for leaving me to die!”

Cartman groaned again and reached a hand up to rub his forehead.

“ _That's_ what this was about?”

Tweek snapped at that.

“You almost killed my boyfriend you fucking asshole!” _Boyfriend_ , Craig thought. _He just said I was his_ \- “You don't know the first thing about being a hero!”

“Well, yeah, none of us do!”

“Being a decent human being translates pretty well,” Tweek said. “But you wouldn't know, would you?!”

Cartman was oddly quiet at that- something that neither Craig or Tweek knew how to address. Never in any of their plans has they considered the possibility that Cartman would actually feel bad or just... _not_ argue with them.

With a hiss of pain, he sat up.

“Alright, that's what you want to do, huh? Hit me? Do it then.”

Tweek glared at him, and stepped forward.

And stood there.

 

“Well?” Craig said, though he could practically see Tweek struggling to justify himself.

“I...” Tweek said. “I can't. I can't just attack an innocent person unprovoked.”

“He's not innocent- and it _was_ provoked!”

Craig stepped up to stand beside Tweek, and they turned to each other.

“It would just be kicking him when he's down!”

“So then kick him later... in the balls!”

“I can't!” Tweek shook his head, and he look strained. “I was just as mad as you- I still am- but if I do this then I'm no better than him.”

“But- you wanted this more than I did!”

“I didn't really I just- I just got caught up in the game. I didn't want to hurt anyone, I was having fun planning it out with you, it was starting to feel like things were better!”

“They were better!” Craig said, anger fading. He felt as though he was shaking- but he wasn't. He never did. “Right? You- you call me your boyfriend, just now...”

“ _Yes_ ,” Tweek hissed, still in a fit. “But what the hell does it matter?! We're faking it anyway!”

The words shot down any other argument Craig had. As far as he was concerned, he didn't care if Tweek beat up Cartman. This was so much more important.

All things Craig had kept in and hidden, all the things he'd wanted but never asked for- they were here now, thoughts putting more and more pressure on a dam that was about to burst. He had no choice, no way to avoid this for any longer.

“You... still think we're faking it?”

 

Tweek's mind shorted out, thoughts fizzling. His rationale gave way to panic. He'd crossed that line first and Craig had crossed it right back, and now they were here, and all he had to was answer the question and he'd get everything he wanted. Craig would accept him, they would make up, and it would be _real_ this time.  So _why_ was he so nervous?

“Wait-” Cartman choked, coughing as he stood. “Are you guys saying you- you faked being gay to make other people happy, but now you actually like each other and are actually gay for real now-”

“ _No_ ,” Tweek lied, “We're talking about something completely different- we're-” words fell flat and in that moment of desperation his anger bubbled up again, and he could think of nothing else to say- so he punched Cartman in the face.

Cartman fell back with a shout, and landed on his back again, dazed.

When he looked back at Craig he saw a look of awe, wide-eyed, mouth open.

Tweek doubted himself a lot, but in that moment, he knew he was reading Craig right. There was nothing fake here.

Just then a light shone at them, blinding their eyes which had since adjusted to the dark.

The beam then moved to Cartman, laying on the ground, and Tweek was able to make out the person holding the flashlight. It was Human Kite, and beside him were Fast Pass and Mosquito. Further to their right, Mysterion, Toolshed, Doctor Timothy, and Tuperware.

 

“Shit,” Tweek hissed, and without a thought he grabbed Craig's hand and broke into a run. Craig was quick to catch on, and matched the frantic pace as they fled the light and broke for the cover of the forest. They crashed through the pines, kicking up snow and thwacking the branches back. They didn't have far to run before they hit the fence of someone's back yard, and Craig wasted no time. He let go of Tweek and got on one knee, letting the other be a platform for Tweek to launch himself over the fence. Tweek caught the flat top of it and heaved up enough to sit, then reached down and caught Craig's hands. He braced his legs on either side of the fence, clamping them together in order to prevent Craig's weight from pulling him off again. Craig scrambled up the wood wall, and when he was almost over Tweek yanked back, and used his own weight to get them both over the other side.

They landed in a heap.

Tweek could feel the bruises starting to form, but he heaved himself up with a groan, knowing full well they had to keep moving. The others would want their heads, and they could very well be gaining on them.

 

The others were in fact, not gaining on them. Most of them were still standing in the vacant lot; slightly confused, but not the least bit angry.

Kyle approached the fallen Coon and shone the flashlight down at this bruised face. Cartman wrinkled his nose and kept his eyes closed.

“I see you haven't gone after them yet,” he sighed, unmoving. “Guess you weren't coming to my aid?”

“We came to take the serum once you had it,” Toolshed admitted. “Both our groups are united again- thought it was _that_ important.”

“Well obviously it wasn't... just people betraying me _as usual_.”

“I mean... you did kind of deserve that,” Mosquito admitted. “I'm surprised they didn't sting you more. Suppose getting you with that serum story was enough of a bite.”

Therewas a beat of silence as everyone mentally groaaned at Clyde's bug puns. Kyle sighed and hunched over, sticking his hand out.

“We're not betraying you. Get up fatass.”

Coon accepted the offer and let the Human Kite pull him up.

“So... no one's going after them?”

“Nope,” Token said.

“And- they're allowed back in the group tomorrow?”

“Yep,” Jimmy said.

“Timmy,” Timmy said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! A few things:  
> \- this was a bulky chapter, but I hope you didn't mind.  
> \- the last chapter will be posted before The Fractured But Whole comes out, so Monday most likely. Sorry for the inconsistent update schedule- life really has my balls in salad shooter.  
> \- thank you so much for the kudos and comments, I really really really appreciate it.  
> \- have a good night <3


	4. Chapter 4

 

After much running, Super Craig and Wonder Tweek reached their hideout, lit faintly by the glow of the Tweak house's porch light. The pine branches cast them into a safe shadow, giving them the peace of mind to stop and catch their breaths, time to catch up with the racing of their hearts.

“That was close,” Tweek gasped. “ _Too_ close- you think they saw us?”

“I know they did,” Craig replied. “We're fugitives now- both groups will be after us.”

“You're right.” Wonder Tweek said. He exhaled, feeling less shaky, straightened his back. “But we did it. We pulled it off!”

Super Craig smiled at that.

“Yeah, we did.”

It was then that silence of what they'd said in between punches caught up to them. They were still breathless, still adrenaline-ridden, but they each took a step and crashed together before the nervousness could take hold. Their lips bumped in the dark, eyes blinking shut, nerves lighting up. For all the cold and damp, the numbness in their toes and fingertips, the snowflakes starting to fall, the kiss was _warm._ It wasn't scary; it was the true ending of everything they'd been through, a culmination of all the times they'd made excuses to be together, the way they'd slowly forgiven each other in favour of working together as a perfect team, they way it had felt like them against the world.

Finally, _finally_ they were able to share this new thing, a new dimension of their interactions, a new ways to express what words failed to say.

Neither wanted to be the first to pull away, so they remained. Craig hadn't really kissed much, but he knew it wasn't right to just stay still, so he angled his head and shifted a bit. Tweek did the same. The sensation was subtle, but it made his stomach clench, and his whole body feel soft.

Tweek exhaled with a sigh, and slid his gloved hands around Craig, pulling him closer.

They were clueless, but neither cared. This wasn't for anyone else- and for the first time in a long while, no one else was watching. There would be no drawings of this moment, no one peering through the coffee shop windows or discretely eyeing them in the park.

This was pure.

Tweek sighed again and pulled back. Craig took the hint to let him go, and opened his eyes to see him flushed and smiling. Snow had started to gather in Tweek's hair, and Craig instinctively reached up to brush it off.

“I was thinking we could say we're back together.” Tweek smirked, an obviously call back to the first time Tweek had essentially asked him out. Craig rolled his eyes but smiled as well.

“Yeah, we can say that. We'll mean it this time.”

“We've meant it for a while,” Tweek shrugged, as if it were just a fact now- which, Craig realized it was. “We were just too scared to actually talk about it.” He paused, looking away and up at his house for a moment, before settling back on Craig. “From now on we have to be better at that. at- _communicating_.”

“Okay,” Craig said. That was an easy committment. “Next time I want to kiss you, I'll tell you.”

Tweek giggled, the blush returning to his cheeks, even in the crisp cold.

“The worst part is, no one else is going to think anything's changed,” he said. “It's only going to feel new to us.”

“So?” Craig argued. “What's so bad about that? At least we have something to ourselves now.”

“Yeah,” Tweek said. “Yeah, you're right.” He glanced up at the house again. “You wanna come inside?”

 

 

Tweek feared the next day at school would be awkward for the two of them. After-school games didn't interfere too much with social life at school, but if someone was a dick, then they were a dick.

And he and Craig... well, they'd _beat up Cartman_.

And they gotten back together for it.

Tweek liked to think he was too mature for the petty schemes that Stan's gang continuously got involved in, and he liked to think he'd dodged a lot of potential PTSD inducing experiences- but reflecting on his own actions told him otherwise. He was just as fucked up as everyone else.

And when his friends turned on him, he was prepared to admit that.

 

But the blow never came. He met up with Craig at lunch, fully intending to give him a quick hug (or even a kiss, since _they_ _did that now_ ) before grabbing coffee and sitting with Kevin and Scott like he often did- but Craig pushed a tray of fries and soda into his hands.

Huh. Craig had just bought him lunch.

“The guys want you to sit with us,” he said. “Come on.”

“What- really- _are they mad_?”

“What? No, relax. You'll see honey.”

He leaned forward, hunching over the tray, to press his lips firmly to Tweek's.

Tweek's world hushed and slowed. His eyes fluttered shut amidst the wave of calm, safety. _Okay,_ he thought. _I guess it's going to feel like this every time_.

Craig moved back after a blissful second, and Tweek immediately opened his eyes to see a cautious expression on Craig's face.

“Uh- that was okay right?” he asked. “I can kiss you at school?”

“Yes,” Tweek blurted, so fast that he gave himself away. Craig broke into a smile, and Tweek would have been dazzled by it if he weren't distracted by something else. “ _Honey_?”

“Shut up, it suits you,” Craig said. He chose that moment to turn and start towards the lunch table. Tweek decided to give him a pass and not mention that Craig was blushing far before he'd turned around.

 

“Tweek!” Clyde greeted, shifting slightly so that Tweek had room to sit. Craig squeezed in On Tweek's other side, pressed too close. His arm seemed trapped between the two of them, until he muttured something under his breath and tucked it around Tweek's waist. _Smooth,_ Tweek thought, but just smiled. The others barely seemed to notice (except Cartman who looked delighted, but Tweek ignored him).

“So that stunt you guys pulled in the vacant lot,” Stan began, and Tweek looked up at him. Panic stirred in his gut, and he held back a twitch. Craig was calm and content beside him, so Tweek reasoned that he shouldn't assume the worst just yet. If they were about to tell him they hated him and never wanted to play again, Craig wouldn't have been in such a good mood. If they wanted to beat him up, Craig wouldn't have lead him here, right?

“Y-yeah?” he asked, glancing around the table. Everyone seemed alright, either focused on Stan or eating.

“Craig said it was your idea,” Stan continued. “Right?”

“Uh- yes?”

A beat of interested silent passed between the boys.

“Dude,” Kyle said, and Tweek turned to look at thim. “That whole serum idea- that was awesome! Cartman bought it hook line and sinker!”

Cartman rolled his eyes, but was otherwise passive. Tweek noted the shallow cut on his cheek, bits of bruising around his jaw. Otherwise he'd cleaned up, and was clearly not showing any signs of a bent ego- though Tweek knew Cartman, and knew he'd likely been conviced to seem so forgiving. Which meant that there was something else at play here, some reason he would let this slide.

“We want to use it as the story line for our franchise,” Kyle continued. “It fits perfectly with a bunch of our origin stories, and it's easy to make it an ongoing conflict. Can you like- expand on it?”

“I-” Whatever Tweek thought Kyle was going to say, that wasn't it. He hadn't spared much thought to the serum story since last night. (Craig had been a big distraction- both when he was there, and after he'd gone home. Tweek had only slept because he'd been exhausted.)

“I mean yeah, I could... flesh it out I guess?”

Another murmur passed around the table.

“Okay,” Stan said, and only then did Tweek notice the notebook and pen in front of him. “So Tweek will be the head writer... good for you man, that's a big cut of the money we're going to make.” Tweek squinted to read Stan's scribbles upside down.

“I'm doing the camera work,” Craig supplied, correctly assuming that Tweek was looking for his name. Tweek refused to acknowledge Craig exposing him like that.

“I'm the costume designer,” Butter's piped up. “Token's doing the music but you should help!”

“I'm doing the directing,” Stan supplied. “Cartman's marketing, Kyle's set design, Kenny's stunts-” -”I told you I didn't fucking want to do stunts-!” Kenny protested, muffled but still very understandable.

“Okay fine, Kenny's _fight choreography_... that's all we've got so far.”

“Jimmy should help me write the jokes,” Tweek found himself saying. “So um- guys- what exactly happened last night to make you decide all this?”

“You,” Kyle said simply. “I overheard you talking to Cartman- nice girl voice by the way- and I told Stan. The whole idea was so good, we all believed it, and we managed to conviced the others to reunite with us! That's why we want to use it!”

“Was this uh- before or after you chased us?”

No one answered right away, until Token supplied “we didn't chase you... you guys just ran.”

Craig went stiff beside him, and Tweek felt an odd twinge in his stomach, like butterflies, but pleasant. He turned to Craig, and their eyes met, and Tweek could feel _something_ between them-

“Hey Tweek,” Clyde said beside him. “You should do that girl voice sometime...”

 

 

Tweek hadn't planned very far past his revenge on Cartman, but he had still never expected to recieve praise and even be rewarded for it. It wasn't that he hadn't learned anything from all this, it was just that he'd never planned on it affecting the others so positively.

The next time they played, their group was a solid team (and larger too), with fewer pitfalls and stronger resolve. Along with the others, Super Craig and Wondertweek grew more powerful every day. Their teamwork was unmatched, and inspired the common folk to strive for greatness.

 

This new, united group even had formed a new motto, a true representation of everything they stood for: _**No one gets left behind**._

Which was from Lilo and Stitch, but whatever fuck you.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. Thank you so much for all the support <3 love you!!
> 
> Now go enjoy TFBW!!


End file.
